Caveats: I’m not a Mental Health expert. Nor am I a Doctor, Psychiatrist or Psychologist. I’m simply someone who has lived with mental health issues for 13 years now. Oh, and I do approach my own issues with a dark humour at times – it’s not that I don’t take it seriously, I do, it’s more that I try not to lose myself in it. If you are struggling, please seek professional advice.
I’m writing this at the end of Mental Health Week 2020 and when we are still in lockdown (I’ve lost count of what week we are in). The media keep talking about a timebomb of Mental Health issues building the longer we are in these conditions, and it’s not difficult to see the signs of it when talking to people.
Indeed, just this week a friend posted about the way they were feeling and the fact that they’d lost all motivation for a job they love. This was followed by an outpouring of other people, me included, sharing how we feel the same and are struggling to just get up and go, when there’s nowhere to go to.
Talking to people the phone, or via Zoom/Teams etc, I can hear hints of desperation starting to creep in around the edges of peoples voices.
I’m very open about my own struggles with mental health – being a big advocate of “It’s Ok To Not Be Ok”, and trying to break the stigma that surround the subject, I have to list with that sense of openness to hopefully give others a degree of hope and strength.
When Boris stood there and declared that the UK was going into lockdown my first reaction was a panic attack. I felt as though the prison doors has clanged shut – event though we’d been living in virtual lockdown for a good 2 weeks or so beforehand, with the odd exceptions.
As the weeks have gone on I’ve found that my mood has swung so sharply from periods of enthusiasm and “Let’s do this”, to the polar opposite of “I can’t cope” and even some really stark thinking patterns that rang a good number of alarm bells. I felt as though I hadn’t lost my marbles, in as much as they were scattered in a thousand places and hiding in those hard to reach places…. thankfully I do have spare bags of marbles around the place so I can genuinely tell people that I haven’t lost them!
The lines of separation between work and home have been blurred beyond even being a line any more, and the bizarre need for Community contact one minute and lone isolation the next leaves my head in a spin trying to follow.
Community has proven to be a massive part of me being able to cope so far. When I posted a series of honest tweets about my struggles I had people message me and call me to check in and chat, and that’s not stopped in the weeks since those tweets.
It’s good to talk
Being able to talk to people is so essential at this time. If you’re living with family/partners sometimes that’s enough. If not, then I hope that you can reach out to family and find support and love there. Other times though, you just need a different voice. If you live on your own, and even if you don’t. then sometimes you need that feeling of being “with” people to see you through.
The old British Telecom (BT) tagling from the 80’s “It’s Good To Talk” is oh so true. But sometimes it’s not about talking, it’s about just being TOGETHER and doing something.
Being a (small) part of the team running the recent virtual Hack4Good event for the Microsoft Business Applications Summit gave me a sense of purpose, and a sense of being part of something bigger than me – it was only a couple of weeks after that I realised just how big it was!
Dropping in to various community gatherings that take place – including the Bespoke Badger Virtual Pub – gives that sense of just chilling with friends. No expectations, you can lurk in the background if you want or you can join in with the mass chaos that inevitably takes place. There are even occasions where online meetings get spun up just to feel like you’re working in an office with other people – little amounts of conversation, and people coming and going as calls allow, but just that sense of comfort and not being alone.
Usergroups and Happy Hours have moved to Teams and Zoom, so learning and sharing is still happening – Community Prevails after all. There are all sorts of events, covering all sorts of subjects and levels, so there is something for everyone – and with them all being virtual you can easily find a usergroup that suits your calendar, even if it happens to be one 1000’s of miles away!
There is help – you are not alone
If you find yourself struggling with thoughts of severe depression, self-harm, and even suicidal thinking – then please contact one of the many agencies available. I’ve linked to a few here, and repeated them at the bottom of this article:
If you, like many of us, are struggling with mental health as a whole, if you’re struggling with the mental fogginess of lockdown and are lacking motivation and enthusiasm, please reach out to someone. Don’t try to fight through this on your own.
There are people here for you – I’m happy to talk, and if not me then I can certainly help you connect with people.
I would also strongly advise you to talk to your employers where you can, and I know some employers are better than others here! Having an open conversation with your manager, or HR, or an employee representative, can help you in so many ways – from simply getting it off your chest, to leading to more flexible working arrangements, and even paving the way should you need time off to breathe and pull through it.
I know that isn’t easy for some. When I had my own breakdown in 2007 my employers reaction was to try and force me out of my job as early as possible. Since then I have had a mix of understanding employers, and those who just tell me to pull my £$%& together and get a grip. On the whole places are getting better, and my current employer (along with my last, who were a mental health organisation!) are really supportive. To re-iterate:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
No matter whether you can turn to your family or not, or whether you have a sympathetic employer or not – The Community is here for you. You’re not alone. Pop along to the Pub, drop into the usergroup sessions, join in with people playing Xbox together, and so much more. The best place for info on Virtual Events is, unsurprisingly, the Virtual Events Hub – run by the community, for everyone.
I hope this proves helpful to someone. If me writing this gets through to you and no-one else, then it’s been worth it. Thank you for taking time to read – and never forget that…
It IS Ok to Not Be OK.
Honestly, it truly is.
Links for Lockdown:
- The Samaritans
- Mind UK
- NHS Mental Health Support
- The Virtual Events Hub – The Home of the Bespoke Badger and All Virtual Community Events
And just because I did tell you I had a very dark and warped sense of humour – there was only one song to leave you with really.
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