Humbled and Honoured
A short while ago I was invited by Angeliki Patsiavou to take part in an amazing blog series she is doing. The series asks MVPs questions about their MVP journeys and about them as people, along with some fun questions in there as well.
In particular Angie was keen to hear about my mental health journey and how that played a part, along with my Accessibility advocacy.
Needless to say, I jumped at the chance!
You can read the blog post over at her amazing site – click here to visit it!
Let’s talk about Mental Health
Ever since I had my breakdown in 2007 I have lived with complex mental health challenges. Some of them have become more manageable over time, such as my depression. Others of them are progressively getting worse, my social anxiety being the main one there.
I sat with the shame of that for too long… and then I decided there was no shame. Why should there be? It’s a complex thing that I have no control over. Chemical imbalances, neurons misfiring, whatever you want to attribute it to. There was nothing I had done to cause it or to keep it. Therefore there was no shame.
I started to be more open about it. Putting out tweets, talking about it at events, even launching a podcast. The response I got, and still get, always consists of people who carry it as a shameful thing. Something they feel they cannot talk about. Something to hide away and keep from people.
This is massively dangerous and can make things so much worse for the individual. Part of me being able to manage a lot of my issues is as a result of me being open about them. I’m not saying that everyone should be shouting it from the rooftops – heck no. I *am* saying that we need to end the stigma and shame.
Public vs. Professional
One of the biggest challenges for me is balancing how I talk about this publicly, and how open I am professionally. Since I moved to Capgemini in January 2023 I have taken a much more open stance on the subject. I will comment on all-hands calls about allowances for people with social anxiety etc. I also speak out more and more on calls with my teams.
This is new for me, but I have realised that there is so much pressure that people feel around work and delivery that it creates a petri dish for stress and more. I sit in a fairly senior position within the projects I am on. When I speak out, I do so in order to encourage the newer, younger, generation of experts to look after themselves.
I have had a couple of messages asking if I am worried that being so open will hold me back. Honestly, a bit of me worries about that, but if I ever feel it does I will stand my ground on it. I don’t think it will, we have a very supportive environment and wellbeing and mental health is talked about quite openly. Time will tell, but it is just as important to end the stigma in the workplace as it is in wider society.
Pick your battles – Mental Health can be tough
Timing and situations are always key. I am not going to sit on a sales call with a client and talk about social anxiety and depression. There’s a time, and there is a place. Yes, there needs to be more comfort in being open, but that doesn’t mean mentioning it every sentence. The long-running joke about MVPs is “How do you know someone is an MVP? Don’t worry, they will tell you”. Mental health shouldn’t replace MVP in that joke. Nor should we be completely silent and locked away.
It’s all about picking your battles. Knowing when is appropriate and relevant. Knowing when it is needed.
Talking about battles – make sure to read Angies blog here to see which 2 Microsoft technologies I would like to see fight it out!
It’s OK to be Not OK!
To all reading, please remember that it is OK to be not OK. You are not a failure. You are not weird or broken. You do not need to bear any shame or stigma.
You are NOT alone.
If you need help, advice, or a listening ear, there are organisations out there including the below:
Further Info and Articles
You can read more of my posts about Mental Health, including my Mental Health Check, by clicking on the “Inclusion and Personal Health” dropdown under “Blog” in the top menu. You can also get there by clicking here to view all articles in that category.
I am not a mental health professional, and post my views and perspectives. Please don’t take anything I say as medical advice.